Perhaps you’ve heard the story about the woman who went with her husband to see his doctor. After the exam the doctor pulled the wife aside and said, “If you don’t do the following, your husband is going to die.
“First, you have to fix him a big, healthy breakfast every morning and send him off to work in a good mood. Next, at lunch, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before going back to work. Then for dinner, prepare a special meal for him every night, and don’t burden him with household chores.”
While they were driving home the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her. She replied, “He said you’re going to die.”
Well, sometimes I have to fix my own bowl of cereal in the mornings, and sometimes I have to make my own peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich for lunch, but I am thankful that God has blessed me with a wonderful wife who goes out of her way to love me. In fact, she wouldn’t even say that her love is anything out of the ordinary, but I know better.
A pastor’s wife endures more than most people realize. While usually it’s the pastor who receives the recognitions, the encouragements, the prayers and the gifts, it’s the pastor’s wife who labors quietly at his side.
Do you remember Peter’s wife? You know Peter, the disciple who demonstrated the faith to get out of the boat and walk upon the water. Peter, the one who made the great confession of faith in Matthew 16:16 saying to Jesus: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God!” The one who had the pleasure of hearing Jesus say to him: “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah!” (Matt. 16:17). It was Peter, the great apostle of Jesus Christ, who rose to speak on the day of Pentecost, filled with the Holy Spirit, and “those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls” (Acts 2:41). It was Peter who witnessed the glory of Jesus’ transfiguration (Matt. 17), who healed the lame beggar at the temple gate (Acts 3), who received the vision from God and brought the gospel to the Gentiles (Acts 10), who was miraculously rescued from prison by an angel of the Lord (Acts 12), and who wrote two letters to the believers which have been canonized into Scripture and bear his name. Everyone knows and admires Peter for his great faith, his boldness, his leadership and his usefulness in the kingdom of God!
But who knows his wife’s name? We know he was married. Jesus healed his mother-in-law who was lying in bed with a fever (Matt. 8:14). Evidently, Peter’s wife also accompanied him in his ministry (1 Cor. 9:5). But we do not know her name nor is she ever mentioned in connection with any of Peter’s great feats of faith.
Surely she made the same sacrifices, and even more, for the sake of the call. Surely her faith and obedience to the Lord were just as commendable as Peter’s, if not more. Surely some of her own dreams and aspirations went unfulfilled as she graciously submitted to her husband on this adventure that would take her away from her home, out of her comfort zone and into the great unknown.
There would have been all the usual emotions of a wife whose husband is charged with shepherding the flock God has placed under his care. Who knows what kind of expectations she felt as she ministered alongside her husband? Who knows how fervently she must have prayed while her husband was arrested and imprisoned for the sake of the gospel? Who knows if she had children of her own to raise while her husband was out preaching, visiting the sick and writing the Bible, what kind of responsibilities she had for the care of her elderly parents, or what roles she played in the ministry of the gospel?
Franklin Graham witnessed the relationship between his parents, Billy and Ruth, and often said, “My father would not be who he is today if it wasn’t for my mother.” I bet Peter would have said the same thing about his wife. I know I can, and I thank God for the extraordinary love of my wife.
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