Elephant in the Room

According to information on Wikipedia (so you know it must be true), the phrase “elephant in the room…is an English idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. It is based on the idea that an elephant in a room would be impossible to overlook; thus, people in the room who pretend the elephant is not there might be concerning themselves with relatively small and even irrelevant matters, compared to the looming big one.”

The first known use of the phrase was found in The New York Times on June 20, 1959: “Financing schools has become a problem about equal to having an elephant in the living room. It's so big you just can't ignore it.”

A common useage of the phrase may occur in the context of addiction denial. Often family and friends refuse to deal with a loved one’s addiction, refuse to talk about it and pretend it’s not there. They carefully avoid the subject as if the addict weren’t destroying himself and those around him or her.

The phrase may be used in relation to some kind of abuse, as those closest to the situation – for whatever reasons – choose to ignore it. Instead they go about life with this huge reality staring them in the face while they avoid it and keep suffering.

In either case (and a host of others could be cited), the problem never goes away by not doing anything about it. Rather, the deafening silence usually makes it much worse. Those who take no action on behalf of an alcoholic become enablers to his or her addiction. Those who fail to speak up for victims of abuse enable the evil to continue. Such looming issues rarely, if ever, resolve themselves.

Why are so many people so careful to squeeze around the elephant in the room but never look it in the eyes? And even while the thing grows and occupies more and more space and crowds the very life out of them, still they ignore it. Why?

Dealing with that question would no doubt generate an array of answers. And I don’t pretend to know your situation, but I’d guess that the underlying theme would have to do with fear. “I’m afraid that if I confronted my husband about his drinking then he’d leave me. I’m afraid that if I spoke up about the abuse then he’d come after me. I’m afraid that things would blow up if I dealt with this problem. I’m afraid the cost will be too great if I get involved. I’m afraid of what might happen.”

Fear has a way of silencing the truth. All of the “what-ifs” and “I-can’ts” bind our hands and feet, seal our lips and sear our hearts, but the elephant keeps growing.

You know what drives out fear? Love. Love is greater than fear. Are there risks to love? Yes. May it cost you dearly? Yes. Might the situation get worse before it gets better? Yes. But is it worth it? Yes!

Can you imagine if Jesus refused to confront the issue of sin? Can you even imagine Him saying to the Father: “What?! You want Me to go down there? Do you know what’s like on earth these days? They won’t like what I have to say. They’ll reject me. They might even kill me. The cost is too great. I’m afraid of what might happen.”

But, O, the love of God! “For God so loved the world…” (John 3:16). “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). There is no fear in love.

There’s another elephant in the room. It’s Jesus. You can pretend all you want that He doesn’t exist. You can avoid Him, neglect Him, overlook Him and dismiss Him. You can fill your life with anything and everything else and refuse to deal with Him. And do so at your own eternal demise.

Or you can come to Him in repentance and faith and receive Him today. Jesus is the looming issue, the obvious Truth, the One to whom we must give account. He is salvation and eternal life to those who trust and follow Him.

Christian, do not keep silent about the elephant in the room while others slip away into destruction without Him. Do not let your fear of what might happen prevent you from speaking the truth in love. Let the love of Christ compel you, being convinced that we no longer live for ourselves, but for Him who died for all and was raised.