When I Grow Up

I always wanted to be a rock star. Right after being a professional football player, that is. Growing up I dreamed of becoming the next Roger Staubach, quarterbacking the Dallas Cowboys to the Super Bowl. Turns out there’s not much interest from the scouts in balding 40 year olds who stand in at 5’10” with my shoes on, weigh 150 pounds, and can’t throw the ball more than 30 yards down the field. 

Oh well. But I could still be a rock star. In fact some of the bands I listened to 30 years ago are still touring. There is hope yet! All I’d have to do is choose an instrument, start practicing, get really good, find some other guys who are really good, land a few gigs, come up with a hit song, sign a deal with a record label, buy a bus and we’d be ready to roll. And, of course, convince my wife that this is God’s will for my life. 

How hard could that be? 

So maybe not. Who knew that God had a much greater plan in store? Being a pastor of a local church never showed up on my radar screen. But God knew it all along. And it’s a higher calling than anything I’d ever dreamed of. 

What’s fascinating is looking back at how the Lord had been preparing me for this all along, even though I never had a clue. Space prevents me from elaborating in detail, but I can tell you that God has put certain people in my life at particular times who have pointed me in the right direction. He has given me experiences and opportunities that have become useful in ministry. He has shaped my heart, transformed my will and renewed my mind to follow His lead. 

Not that I’ve responded perfectly along the way, believe me. But thankfully the Lord has never given up on me. He has always been faithful. And He has blessed richly in spite of myself. 

I love being a pastor of a local church. I love being in the place where the Lord has brought me. I love studying His Word and leading others to do so. I love preaching the gospel of Jesus and leading people to Him. I love serving the Lord and shepherding His body of believers. I love the church despite our weaknesses and imperfections. 

There are times when I realize I’m totally unqualified to do this. Often I face situations where I’m in over my head and I don’t know what to do. I feel a lot like Jehoshaphat the king of Judah. In 2 Chronicles 20 we read that some men came and reported that a great multitude was coming up against him for battle. It was an overwhelming army, and Jehoshaphat knew he was in deep trouble. 

So what did he do when he didn’t know what to do? He “set his face to seek the Lord, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah. And Judah assembled to seek help from the Lord…” (2 Chron. 20:3-4). 

Get your Bible out and read the prayer that follows in 2 Chronicles 20:5-12. Jehoshaphat acknowledges the sovereign power and rule of Almighty God. He recalls the Lord’s faithfulness to His covenant and His promise to help in times of trouble. He presents the current situation and appeals to God’s justice for the sake of His own name. He concludes by praying, “For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 

That’s the heart of a man who knows his own inability, but is confidently looking to the Lord’s supernatural ability. That’s a man who recognizes that apart from Christ he can do nothing, but that in Christ nothing is impossible. That’s a man who trusts not in himself, in his own wisdom or resources, but trusts fully in the name of the Lord his God. 

That’s who I want to be when I grow up, even if I never throw a single NFL pass.