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Thursday, February 21, 2013

The miracle and mystery of marriage

I guess the real miracle is that two people from other planets can get along at all. Much more that they can live together, bear and raise children together, experience life’s dramas together and truly enjoy each other’s presence. Even more, I suppose, the mystery that the two can actually become one flesh.

Marriage is nothing less than a miraculous, mysterious union of two souls – one man and one woman – each from a separate world, yet welded together in an inseparable bond by the infinite wisdom and plan and purpose of a Divine Creator. How awesome is our God!

That strange creature who had cooties in the fifth grade, men, is now the love of your life, and you don’t know what you’d do without her. Ladies, that gross thing of a boy who used to peel dried glue off his hands in kindergarten, seventh grade and again in tenth grade is now the man you adore and can’t imagine what your life would be like if he weren’t in it. How do you explain that? It must be something supernatural.

And it is. From the beginning, the Lord God, who formed man of the dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and who made a woman from man’s rib and brought her to him, instituted and ordained the sacred union of man and woman in marriage. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

There’s nothing natural about it. It’s God’s supernatural design, and we are the beneficiaries of one of His most wonderful blessings. 

Husbands, let me encourage you to love and cherish and nourish your wife like never before. You are charged to give yourself up for her in love that she might be sanctified, unblemished, radiant and holy.

She needs your faithful, steadfast, unfailing love, man! God wired her in such a way that she needs you to care for her and provide for her and protect her and build her up. She may not say that, she may not even think that way, but that’s the way God made her. And your job is to love her like Jesus loved the church, by laying down your life for her, metaphorically and perhaps literally.

You can’t do that on your own. You need God’s help, and so do I. This preacher doesn’t even get it right sometimes. But if I’m to be faithful to the Lord in loving my wife like I’m supposed to, I must rely constantly on His help, trusting in His wisdom, looking to His Word, leaning on His strength, depending upon His Spirit to guide me.

And wives, let me offer a word from the Word for you, as well: “…and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). Men are wired by God in such a way that they need your respect. Your criticisms, complaints and corrections tell your husband that you don’t respect him. When you usurp his authority and God-given role as the head of the household, you’re disrespecting him and disobeying God.

“Well, he doesn’t deserve my respect,” you may be saying. Or, “When he starts loving me, I’ll start respecting him.” To which I’d reply, “Show me in the Bible where it says that your husband must earn your respect before you give it to him.” I know he’s not perfect, and maybe he doesn’t deserve it, but the One who created you and him and this thing called marriage knows how the relationship works best. You need him to love you unconditionally, and he needs you to respect him unconditionally. And you both need God’s help to do that.

Wish I had more space to flesh this out. I’m just getting warmed up. May the Lord bless your miraculous, mysterious marriage as you look to Him in faith.

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