Good thing

Last Friday my wife and I celebrated our 22^nd wedding anniversary. Friend, I’m telling you by experience, God is good! When they talk about “marrying up,” they’re referring to the way God brought an angel from heaven and placed her in my arms.

When we stood before God and those assembled at College Avenue Baptist Church in Normal, IL, on August 7, 1993, we surely didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into, but we vowed to love, honor and cherish one another for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.

As much as I wish I could say that the journey has been nothing but smooth sailing, that’s not always the case. Some days are worse than better. Some seasons of life have been poorer than richer. And sometimes sickness has prevailed over health.

Then there are days I’m just not very likeable, much less loveable. There are days I fail to honor my wife as I should. And as long as I’m being honest, I haven’t always cherished her like I promised I would.

About a year ago it was high time to clean the garage. For the record, it’s high time again. I think it’s always high time to clean the garage. I really don’t understand how a garage can completely clutter itself overnight, but I’ve seen it happen.

Amy and I were working on it together, but she’s much more organized about things than I am. Personally, I was happy with all the loose screws, assorted wrenches and all kinds of doohickeys floating around in the bottom of my toolbox. I was okay with the lawn chairs leaning up against the wall, extension cords hanging from the ceiling or old motorcycle parts cluttering the workbench. Amy, uh, not so much.

In that moment where we didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye on how thoroughly the garage should be cleaned and organized, the promise I’d made in 1993 to love, honor and cherish my wife wasn’t really materializing. As I recall, I reacted by arguing, raising a stink and saying something stupid. And when that didn’t work, I begrudgingly gave in while sporting a rotten attitude that pretty much ruined the day for everyone.

I don’t know about you, but I have this tendency to favor my own opinions and want to do things my way. But that kind of mindset doesn’t usually make for a great marriage, especially when I’m called as a Christian man to give myself up for my wife as an act of love – the way Jesus gave up His life for His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:25).

You know how the story ends, don’t you? So we cleaned and organized the garage the way my wife wanted it done (despite my little temper tantrum), and lo and behold, it turned out great. Tools were organized. Boxes were labeled. Camping supplies and automotive products were arranged neatly on shelves. Even the doohickeys found a home. And I felt like a fool for being so childish and selfish.

Do you know what’s held us together for 22 years? Do you want to know the secret to a great marriage when so many other well-meaning couples don’t make it?

Here’s my best answer. The “secret” is the glue of Christ Jesus. It’s only by the grace of God that our marriage is what it is. We can make a loving commitment to one another, but it’s because of Him that forgiveness and mercy happen in our home. It’s because of Him that serving one another in love takes place. It’s because of Him that we seek to build one another up. It’s because of Him that patience and kindness can replace envy, arrogance and rudeness. It’s because of Him that I don’t insist on my own way, become irritable or resentful (at least on my good days).

That’s love in action, made possible because Jesus holds us together. My wife truly is my “good thing” (Proverbs 18:22), and I thank God for such a gift.